~Intersection~

I never thought she'd say that to me. Never thought she'd say anything close to that either. Not to me. It was a real shocker. I know it isn't right that i feel that she owes me an apology, but she does. After what she said, i don't think i can ever forgive her for it. Yeah, everyone has extreme downs every now and then, but it doesn't give her a reason to say that to me. It's not right. Talk about losing respect for your elders.

But then again, right now, i feel that i owe her so much more. I should be doing so much more for her. And yet, at the same time, i feel that i'm feeling this way, not because i now respect her more or anything like that, but maybe because i now pity her. Care for her more no doubt, but i can only guess it's more out of pity than anything else.

Why do things have to be so hard. How could something so small and tiny turn into something so horrible.

I guess us humans will always be this way...even after decades of evolution and revolutions, we are what we are.

I think that, sooner or later, every single one of us should at LEAST realise how insignificant we are. Not on Earth or in the universe or anything like that, but just how small a speck we are...in ALL OF THIS. I guess it's up to every individual to decide what "all of this" is to him or her...because when you've finally achieved that, then you'll feel a feeling so surreal. It's a feeling i like to call "realising".

I don't know how to describe that feeling in words. Different people might feel it in different ways. And i pray that for most, you won't feel it the way i did.

~oh...my...God...LITERALLY!~

i'm all wet! how many people on earth actually experience sumtin lyk this...
here's wat happened...i was just about to go out...walked bout 40meters outa my hse...n it suddenly starts pourin like it was "wet christmas"! really! just outa no where!
thr's more...so considering my options..either i ran another 100meters to the bus stop and have a public shower...or turn back and run back into my hse and cut my losses...
So of course,i ran back!
and of aaall the people on earth to have to experience what happens next,I was the one who had to!
i ran back...got under shelter...the moment my head was out of the clearing...the rain freakin STOPPED! like...stopped dead! immediately!
I thought things like that only happen in the movies!!! talk about unlucky.....damn...

~ Love Is Eternal~

Fondness fades in and out.
Bustling on my left, heard and unheard, like the waves as you sit in shallow waters.
As i walk through the darkened lone alley, silence intruded my unconsiousness.
Then, a complete halt to all matter.
And a smile broadens.
And all that mattered, didn't.
And all that wasn't, was.
And love became eternal.

~Now Only You Say~

Chuuun...y now only u tot of this...hahaha!

~Time Not On My Side~

aaa!i was jz in a shower..and it dawned on me,n it did hard...that i'm running out of time to plan for it! what "it" exactly is,i won't say here...but i know i gota make this one extraodinary! or sumtin along da lines of that..lol!

another thing about time not being on my side...got my results last nite...all pass..credit in english...so disappointing...but oh well,won't be takin those subjects anymore..so no point talkin bout it now...nyway,went to college today to get registration of my new subjects done...most of us,my classmates that is,agreed to meet up at college at 11...cuz we were supposed to be able to start registering online at 12..we wanted to do it thr together so that we could get da same classes..so we got all da paper work done b4 12..waited in the com labs...12...12.30...1.05....1.20... louis said,"hungry lar wei..."...then this guy comes into da lab n tells us that da office ppl or da ppl incharge told him that we would only be able to register from 3.30 onwards...sighs and complaints being muttered under their breaths went around the lab...so louis said,"eh come go mkn 1st lar.." den others went for lunch as well...sum others went home...so me,louis and clement lepak arnd da corridor for a while..den decided to go up..we ended up going to spinky for a game of foos...hven played proper foos in a month d! haha!den clement went home,me n louis went to mama's kitchen n met up wif alric,jovita,anna,christine...did i leave any1 out?0.o sorry if i did..lol! den haflway tru lunch..vic comes to us n tells us that we could register already..it was about 2.30 that time..so we finished up n went bak down n to da lab...but when we got thr...it was packed! i honestly was NOT expecting that at all..i tought most wud've gone home n went for lunch n wat not since we were told that we could only register at 3.30...so we hijacked dila n ashikin's com..since they were done wif their registration for da subjects d..lol! n quickly registered ours...but some of us could not get the same classes for critical thinking skills!! but other than that..i guz i'm pretty satisfied with my timetable for now...i registered for Advanced English,Critical Thinking Skills,Principles of Accounting,Microeconomics and Malaysian Studies...but monday's like freakin packed! 8 to 6.30! n den on wednesdays...i have a class from 8 to 9.30...n den no classes til 2! wat m i to do for 4 1/2 hrs!! thr's more...louis has 4 1/2 of "ntg to do" also! twice! da worst part is,his is on mondays and tuesdays! aaaa!!! da guyz among us hu normally go play foos together are now separated by different subjects n time slots! thr goes our hang out time...

And then,earlier on in da day...i met syaqib...helped him out wif his timetable n stuff...den was walkin along da corridor wif louis n we walked pass a group of new intake students hu were hvin their orientation n tour of da place done...den a girl from one of da groups tapped me on my shoulder n i turned n saw a familiar face but cun rmb whr i've seen that face...the 1st thing she said,"u'r shanaz's boyfriend ryte?" i'm lyk..err...yeah..do i noe u..lol!turned out it was fawn..didn't know her before this..she said that she alwayz saw me n shanaz in the library together last time,during our form5 dayz...which was true...shanaz and i were either at tuition...or library after school...sweet times those were:) then after that i met up wif syaqib agn...n i asked him if he knew fawn...he said yes n that fawn saw him earlier on too n that fawn also asked him,"hey,u'r farah's boyfriend ryte?" hahaha!!what a coincidence...

well den,that's that...now on to my baby...1st thing's 1st...i miss you sayang!!! so so sooo much!^^ muaxxx~ she'll be bak in a week..for da merdeka holidayz...i think i wrote bout this in one of my previous posts..can't wait to see her agn! i'm really missing her terribly now:( wanna take her out for her favourite sushi agn..hehe! she said she'd try n call me tonite...hopefully she can..:( cuz i'm really longing to hear her sweet calming voice agn...i had planned to do quite a few things for her..but never really had da time to get down to it...gota start doing it now!
aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I MISS MY SAYANG SO MUCH!!!^^ MUAXXX!~ i love you hun!!!!!!!!! come back soon!! mmmuaxxx!!!:)

~Butterflies~

oh goshhh...i'm getin so much butterflies agn!! jz lyk when i used to get them da 1st few times i get a call from shanaz...hehe!! well,about her hp being spoiled...i was hoping i'd get an sms or call from her today...n den everytime my hp rang...or i received an sms...i get TONNES of butterflies in my chest,tinkin its her..hehe!! but most of da calls,if not all...were from my mom...n da smses...no1 but stupid maxis n hotlink!lol!
aaaaa...sayang! abang rindu larrr! wana sing u to shleep:)

ok,taekwondo...been doing quite a few demos da past cpl of months...sum good..sum bad...
kinda disappointed wif my last one...needa rmb to chg holder for plank breaking! Master Tan said thr wun b another demo for us till October...n den i think in November..they're off to Korea and Beijing!! but i wun be going this time..:( wun hv time for it nyway...12 or 13 day trip...so yeah...

ryte den...signing off here..ciaoz peeps!
p/s: omg..so not me! "peeps"...lol! love ya baby! i miss you!!!muaxxx~

~Rinduuu!!!~

My sayang's hp spoiled:( kene water agn! T.T
miss my sayang larrr..she did borrow her fren's hp lar...but da hp cacat..called her few times d but everytime da line will oni last for about a minute n den it'll get cut off...
But at least still can sms larr...but then since this afternoon when i called her n it got cut off...her hp's been off even till now...smsed her a cpl of times since afternoon but she din reply,so i jz tried to call her but it din get tru...mayb hp no batt d..or even worse,it's not working anymore!
i miss her so so much now:(
wonder if she's tinkin bout me too...hehe!
I can't wait to see her agn! probly end of this month...during da merdeka holidayz...
see see...me n my sayang...comeyl tak?? hahaha!
hopefully da hp is working so she wud sms me..n hopefully tonite..cuz i really really miss herrr!!!
love ya princess!

~The Worst Possible Time~

I need not say more...the title speaks for itself...
jz gota persevere...
syg jiayou!!^^

~Unreasonable~

fuck! bloody unreasonable! don't blow it on me! i HAVE limits! i AM human! fuck off!!

~Fuck~

fuck weh...damn pissed! why things go wrg at the worst possible time wan...i hate it lar...pls lar God,pls jz put things ryte agn..da way i wanted it...pls...it's not big things...jz small issues...but pls! it's getin on my nerves and i can't stand it anymore!!
why m i always facing bad timing wannn...diu lar! da worst thing is..it all happens at da same time! how m i supposed to handle it!
i needa get this feeling out of me.....it's getin to me!

~Crossed The Line~

mother fucking cibai...never knew it was like that...
DON'T EVER MESS WITH SOMEONE WHO'S WILLING TO BRING YOU DOWN WITH HIM!

~Missing You~

Sayang...i miss you so much!!!~ she had jz left for a camping trip thing in perak...for 10 days...n they're not allowed to contact out!! so mean! lol...i miss my baby girl..so so much~
Counting down da dayz til she returns...n den..! our anniversary!!! im really lukin forward to that...haven't even gaodim my plans for our anniversary yet..haha! n i really hope we get to meet up on the actual day itself - 9th of july~
The thing is..she comes back from da camp thing on da 8th...n it'll be tiring for her to go out the next day...we'll c how it goes i suppose...
When she 1st turned in her hp two nites ago...it dawned on me..im not sure wat did...but "it" definitely did...n it did hard...i was left feeling empty wif all sorts of thoughts n worries circling in my head which only leads to more thoughts n worries...but i'm slowly getin alright now... got Clement and Louis n CC n Alric n Hanif n Jon n Brandon n Khai n shockingly...GANJA! to accompany me when im feeling lonely...play foos jer tau..hahaha!
I'm hangin in thr baby..dun worry:) hope you're takin gd care thr! i love you!~~~

~Empty~

Since last night...i can't concentrate on watever i'm doing......i keep thinking about it....
I can't stand him anymore after what i heard last night,nvr tot he'd say all those things... I feel like i'm so cruel and mean cuz i keep saying to myself..I nvr want him in the picture ever again...i dun wan him causing problems between us!
I'm at a lost...feeling empty inside...
I really wana talk to u about it...i need to...i dowan this to affect us......not now..not ever...

Though it sounds selfish and mean..I WANT YOU FOR MYSELF! AND I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! No matter what at all...can't i do something to strengthen our bond..? 'Cause i dun want him to even have a chance to try and break us apart when he comes back for u again...SARANGHAE CHAGIYA...CHINCHA SARANGHAE~

~Worse~

AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Why does it keep gettin worse??! Dahlah internet buat kecoh!! MSN not working!! haih...........

Huuun...help me...pick me up.....=(

~Inside~

Sumhw...still feel great dissapointment...

Duno why also...

I need my medicine and cure...darling whr r uuu???

I miss you...:(

~Whatever~

Dissapointed...haih...nvm lar...like my friends say...throw away the negative...keep the positive...=)

Nyway...bought formal clothing today with daddy...and shoes too...very nice~~~ will upload pics of them another time lar..now gotta get ready again to go out with mummy for dinner...

||(: MISSING YOU HUN :)||

~The Way I Feel About You~

Your sweet scent,
Like flowers in the morning;
Skin so soft,
Like a petal after the rain;
Eyes shining bright,
As if from it light was pouring;
Touch so gentle,
Nearly driving me insane.

Kisses so passionate,
They make me want you;
Hugs so memorable,
They make me wanna cry;
Feelings so real,
The ones between us two;
Love so true,
You give me butterflies.

Baby, only with you,
I have nothing to hide,
And i'm able to live happily,
In this life and the next,
With you by my side.

~Ups and Downs~

Yeeeap...1st post..haven't blogged in ages...i had blogs before..but forgotten the passwords, sooo..yeah...

My girl's asleep now...sorta half-sang her to sleep...i love you hun!hehe! but i can't seem to sleep...still kinda bothered 'bout that argument i had with mummy this morning...but thanks to my darling, i more or less got over it already...

Anyway,this week has been a very busy week..was busy planning out the proposal for "Face Of HELP" with the committee...today was hell at college...sigh~~ Now, still haven't done my english group's presentation yet..which we are to present next Wednesday...which reminds me,i gotta go get a few sets of formal outfits with either mummy or daddy this weekend...

Let's see...what else happened this week...oh yeah..i can't remember if it was this week or the last..but well...my sayang's college is in an area where the phone reception can sometimes be so terribly bad...and it's not like just static sound in the background, or her voice gets softer...it's actually the line going completely totally blank!! And it lasts for sometimes nearly 20 seconds...which makes my darling really annoyed ..:( and that caused some unwanted problems between us...im so sorry i couldn't do anything about the line baby....=( muaxxx...muaxxx!! oh well,that's over now...so i just hope that doesn't happen again..it's such a torture to go through that...i never want to have to experience that again...ever.....luckily my sayang's understanding...and soon after we were fine again :)

Next week, sayang's coming to my college to see me!!!!! And guess what?! She's gonna join me in class! AAAAA!!! can't wait 'til you come dear! mmmuaxxx...hehe!!! Well here's what happened...1st,me and my sayang already planned that she would come to HELP next Friday 'cause she memang had to go home to pack up and stuff lar...and she finishes classes around 12.30...i finish classes at 12 on that day...so everything was right in place d... She would come to my college and then i'd go home together with her and hopefully get to spend some time together... but then,a couple of dayz ago...i just found out that i had English replacement class from 3 - 6 next Friday! So i panicked..and the 1st thing that came to my mind was...uh-oh..what do i tell sayang?? how am i gonna tell her?!! And at that time..i was with my English group members doing project for presentation...so i was telling them about it..they suggested that i act sick next Friday and hopefully Mr. Murali will let me leave early..i didn't like that idea 'cause it was too risky...what if Mr. Murali didn't let me leave? Sayang would be waiting for me alone outside...so i decided to go see Murali and asked him if i could bring my sayang into class and let her sit in...to my surprise, he said "sure! why not?". I was overjoyed 'til he wanted to laugh at me d...so i went back to my group and told them that Murali just gave me permission to let her sit in...for a moment i was so glad and happy...and then i suddenly remembered... I still needa tell sayang 'bout this....how am i gonna tell her....??

So i got home that day, and i did talk to darling a couple of times throughout the night...but only brought up the matter later at night...and in my head i was just thinking...pls just say yes..pls just say yes...and then she agreed to my idea! which really gave me a sigh of relief and made me so happy again...hahaha! so we replanned for next Friday abit and we'll see what happens lar...she still needs to ask her mom to let her come home tumpang friends car... This Sunday lar she'll ask after her mom returns from Bangkok.. hopefully her mom will let...looking forward to next Friday hun!!! hehehehe!^^

aaahhh...my sayang shleep shleep d...good night honey...i wish you were beside me now baby...i wanna hug you to sleep...*yaaawn* i love you....mmmhh...lurff....uff...you.....ZZZ