I never thought she'd say that to me. Never thought she'd say anything close to that either. Not to me. It was a real shocker. I know it isn't right that i feel that she owes me an apology, but she does. After what she said, i don't think i can ever forgive her for it. Yeah, everyone has extreme downs every now and then, but it doesn't give her a reason to say that to me. It's not right. Talk about losing respect for your elders.
But then again, right now, i feel that i owe her so much more. I should be doing so much more for her. And yet, at the same time, i feel that i'm feeling this way, not because i now respect her more or anything like that, but maybe because i now pity her. Care for her more no doubt, but i can only guess it's more out of pity than anything else.
Why do things have to be so hard. How could something so small and tiny turn into something so horrible.
I guess us humans will always be this way...even after decades of evolution and revolutions, we are what we are.
I think that, sooner or later, every single one of us should at LEAST realise how insignificant we are. Not on Earth or in the universe or anything like that, but just how small a speck we are...in ALL OF THIS. I guess it's up to every individual to decide what "all of this" is to him or her...because when you've finally achieved that, then you'll feel a feeling so surreal. It's a feeling i like to call "realising".
I don't know how to describe that feeling in words. Different people might feel it in different ways. And i pray that for most, you won't feel it the way i did.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
~oh...my...God...LITERALLY!~
i'm all wet! how many people on earth actually experience sumtin lyk this...
here's wat happened...i was just about to go out...walked bout 40meters outa my hse...n it suddenly starts pourin like it was "wet christmas"! really! just outa no where!
thr's more...so considering my options..either i ran another 100meters to the bus stop and have a public shower...or turn back and run back into my hse and cut my losses...
So of course,i ran back!
and of aaall the people on earth to have to experience what happens next,I was the one who had to!
i ran back...got under shelter...the moment my head was out of the clearing...the rain freakin STOPPED! like...stopped dead! immediately!
I thought things like that only happen in the movies!!! talk about unlucky.....damn...
here's wat happened...i was just about to go out...walked bout 40meters outa my hse...n it suddenly starts pourin like it was "wet christmas"! really! just outa no where!
thr's more...so considering my options..either i ran another 100meters to the bus stop and have a public shower...or turn back and run back into my hse and cut my losses...
So of course,i ran back!
and of aaall the people on earth to have to experience what happens next,I was the one who had to!
i ran back...got under shelter...the moment my head was out of the clearing...the rain freakin STOPPED! like...stopped dead! immediately!
I thought things like that only happen in the movies!!! talk about unlucky.....damn...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
~ Love Is Eternal~
Fondness fades in and out.
Bustling on my left, heard and unheard, like the waves as you sit in shallow waters.
As i walk through the darkened lone alley, silence intruded my unconsiousness.
Then, a complete halt to all matter.
And a smile broadens.
And all that mattered, didn't.
And all that wasn't, was.
And love became eternal.
Bustling on my left, heard and unheard, like the waves as you sit in shallow waters.
As i walk through the darkened lone alley, silence intruded my unconsiousness.
Then, a complete halt to all matter.
And a smile broadens.
And all that mattered, didn't.
And all that wasn't, was.
And love became eternal.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
~Time Not On My Side~
aaa!i was jz in a shower..and it dawned on me,n it did hard...that i'm running out of time to plan for it! what "it" exactly is,i won't say here...but i know i gota make this one extraodinary! or sumtin along da lines of that..lol!
another thing about time not being on my side...got my results last nite...all pass..credit in english...so disappointing...but oh well,won't be takin those subjects anymore..so no point talkin bout it now...nyway,went to college today to get registration of my new subjects done...most of us,my classmates that is,agreed to meet up at college at 11...cuz we were supposed to be able to start registering online at 12..we wanted to do it thr together so that we could get da same classes..so we got all da paper work done b4 12..waited in the com labs...12...12.30...1.05....1.20... louis said,"hungry lar wei..."...then this guy comes into da lab n tells us that da office ppl or da ppl incharge told him that we would only be able to register from 3.30 onwards...sighs and complaints being muttered under their breaths went around the lab...so louis said,"eh come go mkn 1st lar.." den others went for lunch as well...sum others went home...so me,louis and clement lepak arnd da corridor for a while..den decided to go up..we ended up going to spinky for a game of foos...hven played proper foos in a month d! haha!den clement went home,me n louis went to mama's kitchen n met up wif alric,jovita,anna,christine...did i leave any1 out?0.o sorry if i did..lol! den haflway tru lunch..vic comes to us n tells us that we could register already..it was about 2.30 that time..so we finished up n went bak down n to da lab...but when we got thr...it was packed! i honestly was NOT expecting that at all..i tought most wud've gone home n went for lunch n wat not since we were told that we could only register at 3.30...so we hijacked dila n ashikin's com..since they were done wif their registration for da subjects d..lol! n quickly registered ours...but some of us could not get the same classes for critical thinking skills!! but other than that..i guz i'm pretty satisfied with my timetable for now...i registered for Advanced English,Critical Thinking Skills,Principles of Accounting,Microeconomics and Malaysian Studies...but monday's like freakin packed! 8 to 6.30! n den on wednesdays...i have a class from 8 to 9.30...n den no classes til 2! wat m i to do for 4 1/2 hrs!! thr's more...louis has 4 1/2 of "ntg to do" also! twice! da worst part is,his is on mondays and tuesdays! aaaa!!! da guyz among us hu normally go play foos together are now separated by different subjects n time slots! thr goes our hang out time...
And then,earlier on in da day...i met syaqib...helped him out wif his timetable n stuff...den was walkin along da corridor wif louis n we walked pass a group of new intake students hu were hvin their orientation n tour of da place done...den a girl from one of da groups tapped me on my shoulder n i turned n saw a familiar face but cun rmb whr i've seen that face...the 1st thing she said,"u'r shanaz's boyfriend ryte?" i'm lyk..err...yeah..do i noe u..lol!turned out it was fawn..didn't know her before this..she said that she alwayz saw me n shanaz in the library together last time,during our form5 dayz...which was true...shanaz and i were either at tuition...or library after school...sweet times those were:) then after that i met up wif syaqib agn...n i asked him if he knew fawn...he said yes n that fawn saw him earlier on too n that fawn also asked him,"hey,u'r farah's boyfriend ryte?" hahaha!!what a coincidence...
well den,that's that...now on to my baby...1st thing's 1st...i miss you sayang!!! so so sooo much!^^ muaxxx~ she'll be bak in a week..for da merdeka holidayz...i think i wrote bout this in one of my previous posts..can't wait to see her agn! i'm really missing her terribly now:( wanna take her out for her favourite sushi agn..hehe! she said she'd try n call me tonite...hopefully she can..:( cuz i'm really longing to hear her sweet calming voice agn...i had planned to do quite a few things for her..but never really had da time to get down to it...gota start doing it now!
aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I MISS MY SAYANG SO MUCH!!!^^ MUAXXX!~ i love you hun!!!!!!!!! come back soon!! mmmuaxxx!!!:)
another thing about time not being on my side...got my results last nite...all pass..credit in english...so disappointing...but oh well,won't be takin those subjects anymore..so no point talkin bout it now...nyway,went to college today to get registration of my new subjects done...most of us,my classmates that is,agreed to meet up at college at 11...cuz we were supposed to be able to start registering online at 12..we wanted to do it thr together so that we could get da same classes..so we got all da paper work done b4 12..waited in the com labs...12...12.30...1.05....1.20... louis said,"hungry lar wei..."...then this guy comes into da lab n tells us that da office ppl or da ppl incharge told him that we would only be able to register from 3.30 onwards...sighs and complaints being muttered under their breaths went around the lab...so louis said,"eh come go mkn 1st lar.." den others went for lunch as well...sum others went home...so me,louis and clement lepak arnd da corridor for a while..den decided to go up..we ended up going to spinky for a game of foos...hven played proper foos in a month d! haha!den clement went home,me n louis went to mama's kitchen n met up wif alric,jovita,anna,christine...did i leave any1 out?0.o sorry if i did..lol! den haflway tru lunch..vic comes to us n tells us that we could register already..it was about 2.30 that time..so we finished up n went bak down n to da lab...but when we got thr...it was packed! i honestly was NOT expecting that at all..i tought most wud've gone home n went for lunch n wat not since we were told that we could only register at 3.30...so we hijacked dila n ashikin's com..since they were done wif their registration for da subjects d..lol! n quickly registered ours...but some of us could not get the same classes for critical thinking skills!! but other than that..i guz i'm pretty satisfied with my timetable for now...i registered for Advanced English,Critical Thinking Skills,Principles of Accounting,Microeconomics and Malaysian Studies...but monday's like freakin packed! 8 to 6.30! n den on wednesdays...i have a class from 8 to 9.30...n den no classes til 2! wat m i to do for 4 1/2 hrs!! thr's more...louis has 4 1/2 of "ntg to do" also! twice! da worst part is,his is on mondays and tuesdays! aaaa!!! da guyz among us hu normally go play foos together are now separated by different subjects n time slots! thr goes our hang out time...
And then,earlier on in da day...i met syaqib...helped him out wif his timetable n stuff...den was walkin along da corridor wif louis n we walked pass a group of new intake students hu were hvin their orientation n tour of da place done...den a girl from one of da groups tapped me on my shoulder n i turned n saw a familiar face but cun rmb whr i've seen that face...the 1st thing she said,"u'r shanaz's boyfriend ryte?" i'm lyk..err...yeah..do i noe u..lol!turned out it was fawn..didn't know her before this..she said that she alwayz saw me n shanaz in the library together last time,during our form5 dayz...which was true...shanaz and i were either at tuition...or library after school...sweet times those were:) then after that i met up wif syaqib agn...n i asked him if he knew fawn...he said yes n that fawn saw him earlier on too n that fawn also asked him,"hey,u'r farah's boyfriend ryte?" hahaha!!what a coincidence...
well den,that's that...now on to my baby...1st thing's 1st...i miss you sayang!!! so so sooo much!^^ muaxxx~ she'll be bak in a week..for da merdeka holidayz...i think i wrote bout this in one of my previous posts..can't wait to see her agn! i'm really missing her terribly now:( wanna take her out for her favourite sushi agn..hehe! she said she'd try n call me tonite...hopefully she can..:( cuz i'm really longing to hear her sweet calming voice agn...i had planned to do quite a few things for her..but never really had da time to get down to it...gota start doing it now!
aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! I MISS MY SAYANG SO MUCH!!!^^ MUAXXX!~ i love you hun!!!!!!!!! come back soon!! mmmuaxxx!!!:)
Monday, August 18, 2008
~Butterflies~
oh goshhh...i'm getin so much butterflies agn!! jz lyk when i used to get them da 1st few times i get a call from shanaz...hehe!! well,about her hp being spoiled...i was hoping i'd get an sms or call from her today...n den everytime my hp rang...or i received an sms...i get TONNES of butterflies in my chest,tinkin its her..hehe!! but most of da calls,if not all...were from my mom...n da smses...no1 but stupid maxis n hotlink!lol!
aaaaa...sayang! abang rindu larrr! wana sing u to shleep:)
ok,taekwondo...been doing quite a few demos da past cpl of months...sum good..sum bad...
kinda disappointed wif my last one...needa rmb to chg holder for plank breaking! Master Tan said thr wun b another demo for us till October...n den i think in November..they're off to Korea and Beijing!! but i wun be going this time..:( wun hv time for it nyway...12 or 13 day trip...so yeah...
ryte den...signing off here..ciaoz peeps!
p/s: omg..so not me! "peeps"...lol! love ya baby! i miss you!!!muaxxx~
aaaaa...sayang! abang rindu larrr! wana sing u to shleep:)
ok,taekwondo...been doing quite a few demos da past cpl of months...sum good..sum bad...
kinda disappointed wif my last one...needa rmb to chg holder for plank breaking! Master Tan said thr wun b another demo for us till October...n den i think in November..they're off to Korea and Beijing!! but i wun be going this time..:( wun hv time for it nyway...12 or 13 day trip...so yeah...
ryte den...signing off here..ciaoz peeps!
p/s: omg..so not me! "peeps"...lol! love ya baby! i miss you!!!muaxxx~
Sunday, August 17, 2008
~Rinduuu!!!~
My sayang's hp spoiled:( kene water agn! T.T
miss my sayang larrr..she did borrow her fren's hp lar...but da hp cacat..called her few times d but everytime da line will oni last for about a minute n den it'll get cut off...
But at least still can sms larr...but then since this afternoon when i called her n it got cut off...her hp's been off even till now...smsed her a cpl of times since afternoon but she din reply,so i jz tried to call her but it din get tru...mayb hp no batt d..or even worse,it's not working anymore!
i miss her so so much now:(
wonder if she's tinkin bout me too...hehe!
I can't wait to see her agn! probly end of this month...during da merdeka holidayz...
see see...me n my sayang...comeyl tak?? hahaha!
hopefully da hp is working so she wud sms me..n hopefully tonite..cuz i really really miss herrr!!!
love ya princess!
miss my sayang larrr..she did borrow her fren's hp lar...but da hp cacat..called her few times d but everytime da line will oni last for about a minute n den it'll get cut off...
But at least still can sms larr...but then since this afternoon when i called her n it got cut off...her hp's been off even till now...smsed her a cpl of times since afternoon but she din reply,so i jz tried to call her but it din get tru...mayb hp no batt d..or even worse,it's not working anymore!
i miss her so so much now:(
wonder if she's tinkin bout me too...hehe!
I can't wait to see her agn! probly end of this month...during da merdeka holidayz...
see see...me n my sayang...comeyl tak?? hahaha!
hopefully da hp is working so she wud sms me..n hopefully tonite..cuz i really really miss herrr!!!
love ya princess!
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